The God of Death reads Icha Icha Paradise?
by AmberFox and Lyell
Summary: Someone finds something very interesting in the Shinigami's desk. Who will pay the conciquences? Probably Jiraiya! I know I should be using Minato instead of Arashi. But it's too troublesome to change now.


**The God of Death reads Icha Icha Paradise?**

(I know I know! I should really start calling Arashi Minato. Sorry but I cant. The name is forever lodged in my brain until I can find a different picture to label it with. This oneshot has been sitting in my computer for some time so excuse. Enjoy!)

In the realm of the Dead…

"Shinigami-sama? Shinigami-sama? I have those reports, sir." A blond man stuck his head around the office door of the dreaded Death God and looked around. "Oh? He's not here… Odd…"

The man had been working for the Death God for many years and hadn't expected him to be out of his surprisingly bright and decent looking office at that time. 'But then again, I never though Shinigami-sama was in such desperate need of staff that he'd hire _me,_ of all people, almost as soon as I had died.' The man mused as he gave the room another sweep. 'It's no wonder. Anyone who isn't use to crippling amounts of paperwork would have been driven mad by now…' The walls were a creamy white and the large comfortable looking blue office chair was drawn away from the dark wooden desk as the two walls on either side were lined with tall neutral gray filing cabinets, one of which had a drawer open and a thick file missing.

The man crept in, intending to leave the armful of reports on the gods busy desk when he noticed an orange book lying open, cover up, in an open desk drawer. "Eh? I've not seen one of these in ages! Wow! This takes me back!" The man grinned to himself and fished the book out to read the back. "Hey! It's a new one! I would of though someone would of killed the old man by now. Hehehe!" He flipped to the cover, letting his eyes saver the bright red words as memories drifted before his eyes (Not all of them happy), then to the first few pages and began to scan them.

His wistful smile suddenly dropped, "Oh _no_! _Hell_ no! He didn't just…! _Oh Hell No_! I can't believe him! That - that _bastard_!" and with a savage growl the man stormed out the room, book in hand.

OoOoO

Naruto, Sakura and Lee were all standing in front of the Hokage desk before Tsunade, the great Slug Sennin and Godaime Hokage of the leaf and her unfortunately perverted cell mate Jiraiya, delivering the report for their latest mission.

Suddenly a black void opened in the middle of the room. Everyone stepped back in fear as a cold dark wind blew from it, hissing angrily. "_Ji-rai-ya_!!!"

Tsunade shot out of her seat and the genin, their shock over with, quickly got their weapons out as two pale arms with dark sleeves shot out of the darkness and grabbed the toad sennin by the throat and pulled him forward.

"Ack! Go-gomen! Gomen nasai!" Jiraiya choked out as the top half of a blond figure was just made out on the other side of the veiled portal. ( gomen sorry. Gomen nasai a super polite way of saying sorry.)

"I can't believe you'd even _consider_ doing that!" The man ranted, clearly infuriated. "You thought you could get away with _this_, you-you-y_ou_-!" He couldn't seemed to find the right word to portray his disgust, but then settled with the traditional. "_Pervert_!

"What in the world-?" Tsunade came forward as the kids backed up to give her room.

"_Look_! _Look at this_!" The man threw a orange book forward. "Look at the beginning of chapter one. _Chapter bloody one_!"

"Huh?" The Godaime calmly flicked to the page in question while Jiraiya was still fighting for air.

An ominous hush fell as the rooms pressure suddenly increased.

"Arashi-kun! Arashi-kun!" A deep voice on the other side of the portal sounded as a larger figure, with large white hair, appeared to put his grey hands on the younger mans shoulders. "That is enough!"

"No it's not!" The man, Arashi, snarled as he began to shake Jiraiya violently.

Naruto came forward, ready to do a Kage Bunshin. "Oi! Oi! Let go of Ero-sennin you bastard!"

"Na-Naruto…!" Jiraiya choked out.

"Oh?" Arashi dropped, the now very much unconscious, Jiraiya to the floor and seemed thoroughly pleased to see the young boy. "Hey! Wow you've grown big, Naruto-chan!"

"Eh?" Naruto peered into the veil just as another head, the man named Arashi, appeared almost nose to nose with him.

"Hey there!"

"Ah!" Naruto jumped back as Arashi laughed. Regaining his composure Naruto curiously stepped forward. "Ano, Ossan? Who are you?" (ossan uncle or Mr depending on the situation. Mr would be more accuate.)

"Baka!" Sakura thumped Naruto's head, giving him a large shiny bump.

Naruto held his head and gave a small moan. "Sakura-chan! That hurt!"

"That's the Yondaime Hokage, baka! You see his face _every day_!" The pink haired girl ranted. Arashi continued to laugh as he leant on the side of the portal, not unlike a driver from a car window.

"Ow! Well how the heck was I suppose to know?!" Naruto whined loudly, rubbing his sore head before a random thought got his attention. "Huh? Wait a sec- Ahhh!" He pointed to the mirthful man, who seemed to have began sniggering in an attempt to get himself under control. "You're dead!"

"I've noticed." The man said gravely. Though the effect was ruined by the slight smirk tugging on his lips. "So? How have you been, Naruto-chan?" He continued in a lighter tone as he grinned down at the boy.

Naruto looked a little shocked for a second then grinned back with equal force at the older man. "I have no regrets!"

"Good!" Arashi's smile got a little wider and Naruto matched it.

"Ano? Yondaime-sama?" Lee hesitated.

Distracted, Arashi looked over to where Lee had stepped forward on the other side of Naruto. "Yes, er...?"

"Rock Lee, sir." Lee stood rigid and threw in a salute.

"Rock-kun." Arashi gave Lee a sparkling grin. "For a second I thought you were a certain genin from my old teaching days. You look a lot like him."

"Ossu! Gai-sensei is the best teacher in the world, sir!" Lee proclaimed. (Ossu sorta like short for Yosh. A very youthful exclamation.)

"Gai? Yes that was his name. The young boy with the unfortunate eyebrows..." Arashi mused to himself.

"Sir? Not to sound rude or anything, but... What are you doing here?" Sakura asked for the beaming Lee and Naruto.

"I'm afraid my anger got the better of me." Arashi laughed, embarrassed. "Sorry if I scared you."

"You're anger is justly deserved, Arashi-kun." Tsunade growled, forgotten until now, as she snapped the book shut from her position now behind the genin. 'Using Arashi and his wife as characters in his perverted book… What I'll do to him when he wakes up…!'

"What took you so long Obaa-chan? Enjoy reading Ero-sennin's stupid book?" Naruto muttered.

Arashi sniggered to himself. "Obaa-chan? Ero-sennin? Pffffff!"

"_Na-ru-to_!" Tsunade growled again, cracking her knuckles at the boy.

"I believe we should be going." The other figure, the one behind Arashi, said as he pulled the ex-Hokage back into the void.

"Bye, Lee-kun! Sakura-san! Naruto-chan, make me proud! See you on the other side!" Arashi gave one last wave before disappearing.

"I apologise for Arashi-kun's behaviour." The deep voice said and seemed to give them a small bow.

"It's alright." Tsunade waved off. "Please tell Arashi-kun that I'll deal with the pervert _personally_."

The dark figure chuckled evilly.

"Shinigami-sama," Arashi's voice was heard to whine somewhere in the background. "you said we had to go…"

"Hai. Hai. Just let me get my book back first." The figure sighed and, as soon as Tsunade had tossed the book over, gave a last wave and the portal shut with a blink.

"Shinigami-sama...? Eh!? That was Death!" Naruto yelled at Tsunade, pointing at the space where the portal had been.

"Arashi-kun _is_ dead." Tsunade shrugged.

"Huh." Naruto gave one last look to the space before looking back to his friends, and unconscious teacher. "Right!" He cried, rubbing his hands together, "Lets go get Ramen!" he turned and was striding boldly out the door before anyone could say anything, a large grin on his face at the anticipated meal.

There was a pause before Sakura screeched "Naruto you idiot! We haven't given in our report yet! Hey! Shannaro!" and went running off after Naruto to subject him to some retribution.

"Eh heh heh." Lee nervously laughed as it was only him and the Hokage left in the room.

"Just give me the written report." Tsunade sighed. "The verbal one can come later."

"Oh? Hai, Hokage-sama." Lee handed her the scroll and, after respectfully bowing, took off after his love interest and her stupid cell mate.

Tsunade sighed and, after kicking Jiraiya on the way past, sat back down in her seat and opened the scroll as if nothing had happened. It was just another normal day in Konoha.

END!

(How'd ya like it? This is a oneshot. But if you'd like to continue it you can. Just tell me so I can read it to, k? I really hope i didn't make anyone OOC. As I said before, this fic is really old. Please Review!)


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